Returning to life as a working mum

There have been some big changes in our family life recently because after eighteen months of being at home with the kiddies I have started a new job. I absolutely HATE all the working vs stay at home mum debates because every family is different and you can only try your best to do what works. I think there will always guilt associated with whatever decision you make and having other people’s shitty opinion forced upon you uninvited is really unhelpful.  I had mentioned to a woman from one of the baby groups I had been taking the kids to that I wouldn’t be able to bring them after the holidays because I’d be at work and she goes “When I had my kids I gave up a brilliant job because I wanted to be a mum instead.” Fortunately there is a very typical Glaswegian response to dealing with this kind of shit which fit in perfectly here “oh did ye, aye?” (Which can be roughly translated as ‘I don’t actually give a fuck what you did so could you kindly piss off’) The more I thought about it afterwards, the more it annoyed me. I was already feeling anxious and worried about leaving the wee ones  but I absolutely don’t consider myself to be any less of a mum by going to work three days a week! Think that’s why the phrase ‘full time mum’ pisses me off a bit, working part time does not also make you a part time mum. When you’re a mum you are always a full time mum! Whether you are physically with your children or not you always think about them, worry about them and provide for them. 
I do honestly feel like going back to work was the best decision for me and our family. I feel so lucky that I’ve  been able to spend extra time with the children and not have to rush back into work after maternity leave but I really enjoy my job and missed it so I knew getting back to it was something I wanted to do. Also, being home with the kids 24/7 can be really, really hard . My mother in law describes life when they are little like feeling like you are on a hamster wheel, having to keep going and doing the same things day after day and not getting anywhere and I totally get what she means.  Between my three year old refusing to do a single thing he’s told, my one year old drama queen with the most horrendous temper tantrums I’ve ever seen, a stroppy 11 year who is rapidly approaching the nightmare that is teenage years, no one ever wanting to eat the same food at the same time, don’t even get me started on the ever dreaded supermarket shop and everything about c-bloody-beebies (except Andy, who is a bit of a babe) I feel like some days all I do is shriek at them all day long like a crazy person while counting down the minutes til bedtime. I don’t want to be a impatient, shouty mummy and for that to be how my kids remember me when the grow up. I feel like getting some balance in my home/ work life will help me to appreciate and enjoy my time with them and I can be more like the parent I want to be.  

Although confident in my decision to go back to work the first day was really hard and in the run up to it I cried and worried.  A lot. Luckily though we have the most amazing childminder who reassured me, sent me lovely photos and I just know with all the fun things she plans for them the kids have a ball with her and the other children. I’m actually surprised they want to come home with me at the end of the day to be honest! 

Anyway I think I’ve rambled on enough now but I’m excited about a new chapter and the challenges that go along with being back in the world of work as well as being a full time mum but I know it’s all going to be just fine! (Or at least that’s what I’m gonna be trying to tell myself when it’s all going tits up and I’m trying to wrestle the kids into their clothes in the morning and running late!)

 

S xx

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9 thoughts on “Returning to life as a working mum

  1. It must be hard to head back to work after being home with the kiddies. It’s great you have such a wonderful childminder, I hope you are all settled into the new routine soon. Thanks so much for joining us at #BloggerClubUK x

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  2. Good luck with going back to work, I hope you enjoy it. You’re so right about people judging others over their decision to work or not. I have been a stay at home mum for 5 years now but I would have loved to go to work part time but I don’t have anyone to look after the kids while I work. I think two or three days a week is a great balance. x #bigpinklink

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  3. Yay for you! And I agree, the debate is sooooo boring. Mother is my mother but she also works and SHE LOVES IT. She doesn’t just do it for the money, she does it for her and her sanity. And she does it for me. And working doesn’t mean she loves me less – she absolutely worships the ground I walk on. Me, Father and work all help to make her the person she is. Good luck and keep on enjoying it x #bigpinklink

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  4. I agree with everything you’ve said here!! I have absolutely no time for working vs not working debates either, as much as I don’t have time for breast vs bottle either! All just seem to be petty arguments designed to make mums feel possibly even worse, and give them more to worry about than they already do!! I’m a stay at home mum (another term I’m coming to dislike intently!!) and I get everything you said-the description of it being a hamster wheel and never achieving anything is a perfect description!! And I’m always worrying that my children will only remember me as the shouty person who always seemed a little bit fed up with life and with them… But financially I can’t go back to work until they’re at school, so I can’t change things until then! Working 3 days a week sounds like a really good balance to me, and would be the amount that I’d like to do if I were to be working!! I can imagine how nerve wracking it must be for you, and I hope you settle in quickly!! Let us know how you get on!!
    #bigpinklink

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  5. I think there is postives abd negatives in everything. I think it is really good your child is happy and you know what you are doing the best you can be. Please don’t be too hard on yourself it is good that a child has separation and learns not to just realy in one. Both my boys learn so much from being in a different environment when at nursery. X #bigpinklink

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  6. I agree 100% re the constant debate re working/stay at home parents (mainly mothers) – Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. I’m a SAHM even though our kids are both now school age and I’m sure there are lots of people who have their opinions about that but to be honest, it’s our decision, it works for us and it’s nobody else’s business! Glad to hear you’re new routine is working well, sounds like you have a nice little set up going that works for your family. #bigpinklink

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  7. Working shows your kids how life really works! It teaches them good habits. we can’t all afford to stay at home likewise not everyone can afford to work. I will be returning to my full time job in january and bub will only be 5 months but statutory maternity pay is crap you’d think they would pay more for a working mum that pays taxes. I do feel sad to be leaving him so early but my husband will have him for a few months then he will have to be looked after by the mother in law.

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